Which cities are best for juggling the many responsibilities that come with being a single father?
To mark Father’s Day on June 18, LawnStarter ranked 2023’s Best Cities for Single Dads to Live.
We compared the 200 biggest U.S. cities based on six categories, such as Affordability and Work-Life Balance. We specifically looked at child care costs, public schools quality, and support programs, among 35 total metrics.
See where your city stands in our ranking below. To learn how we ranked the cities, see our methodology.
Contents
City Rankings + Infographic
See how each city fared in our ranking:
Top 5 Close Up
Check out the slideshow below for highlights and lowlights on each of our top five cities.
Key Insights
The Gist
Small, high-income cities — including Bellevue, Washington (No. 1), and Irvine, California (No. 2) — land at the top of our ranking, alongside big cities like San Francisco (No. 7) and Seattle (No. 8). While many men in these cities have college degrees and higher-than-average salaries, they also have some of the longest average work weeks.
Only four Texas cities finish in the top half of our ranking: Frisco (No. 12), McKinney (No. 34), Plano (No. 35), and Austin (No. 78). The remaining Lone Star cities rank in the bottom half, with Dallas (No. 184) and Houston (No. 189) landing near the very end, along with Killeen (No. 199) and Brownsville in last place. These cities disappoint with low scores across the board — except for Community Support — lacking access to important resources for single dads and their families.
Standout Stats
Suburbs Seeking Single Dads
While some of the top suburbs offer abundant access to resources like high-quality public schools and hospitals, affordable child care options, and dad support groups, they ironically have fewer single dads to take advantage of the perks. Bellevue, Washington (No. 1), has the 2nd-smallest population of single dads in our ranking. Naperville, Illinois (No. 3), and Overland Park, Kansas (No. 20), have similarly small populations.
Nature and Nurture
Leading the way in the Affordability, Child Care, and Home and Outdoors categories is Naperville, Illinois (No. 3). While the cost of living is high in Naperville, a Chicago suburb, most locals can afford it. Here, male residents have the 2nd-best purchasing power index and housing affordability, and Naperville has among the lowest shares of men and children in poverty.
Bay State Balance
Working dads can enjoy the best of both worlds in Worcester, Massachusetts (No. 19), which boasts the best Work-Life Balance, followed by Boston (No. 10) and Springfield, Massachusetts (No. 63). These cities have shorter average work weeks, and The Bay State offers the longest maximum paid family leave allowed, along with a job protection policy. State law also enables parents to take sick leave for child care purposes.
Smart and Healthy
Charming Charleston, South Carolina (No. 76), takes 1st place in Health and Education, with high-quality hospitals and public schools and the 3rd-best access to hospitals. Boise, Idaho (No. 33), follows closely behind at No. 2 in Health and Education, claiming the 2nd-best access to family practitioners.
Cali Community
With the most fatherhood programs, Los Angeles (No. 93) offers top Community Support. Unfortunately, the City of Angels falls behind in most of the other categories — with low Affordability, expensive and sparse child care options, small yards, and low access to quality hospitals and family practitioners.
Expensive Access
While Paterson, New Jersey (No. 118), boasts the best access to child care workers, it ranks 2nd-worst in Affordability, behind Jackson, Mississippi (No. 178). Employed men in these two cities have lower average salaries and lack affordable housing options. Both cities also have high rates of working men and children in poverty. Paterson is among the 10 most expensive cities for babysitters and child care costs.
Room to Grow
Cities with some of the largest populations of single fathers have room for improvement, including Newark, New Jersey (No. 116), Columbus, Georgia (No. 132), and Dayton, Ohio (No. 123). These cities land in the bottom half of our ranking with low access to baby supply stores, high rates of child poverty, and mediocre public schools.
Ask The Experts
Juggling work responsibilities, taking care of the kids, and caring for yourself isn’t easy.
We reached out to a panel of experts to learn more about support systems, programs, and incentives that can be helpful to single dads — especially those who are struggling emotionally or financially. Read their advice below.
- What are the best ways for single dads to find social and emotional support if they don’t have a strong network?
- What less familiar government incentives or social programs are available to single dads (or single parents in general) struggling financially?
- How are societal pressures and expectations different for single dads vs. single moms?
- What are some meaningful ways that busy single dads can spend more time with their kids?
What are the best ways for single dads to find social and emotional support if they don’t have a strong network?
Develop their own support organizations. Find other single fathers with similar problems. Single mothers have had support organizations for years. Men need to create similar organizations.
How are societal pressures and expectations different for single dads vs. single moms?
Most women are socialized to be self-supporting, independent, but also “motherly.”
Men are socialized to be “manly” to be strong, aggressive, protective, a “take charge” mentality. Men are teased if they “act like a girl.”
A single father is going to have to learn how to be nurturing, to show emotions, to be “motherly” when they become a single father.
What are some meaningful ways that busy single dads can spend more time with their kids?
- Encourage their employer to allow them to work part-time from home.
- Be willing to spend their free time with child-oriented activities rather than participating in free time with their buddies.
- Give up working overtime or accepting promotions that will require more time.
- Participate in volunteering at school.
- Start their own company, which will allow them to work at home.
- Take the child to work with them if it is safe.
- When doing household tasks, encourage the kids to help (many young kids love to “help” their parents).
What are the best ways for single dads to find social and emotional support if they don’t have a strong network?
For single Dads, creating a support network around their children can be incredibly helpful. Men tend to center friendships and social networks around activities like sports, business, games, etc., where conversations and interactions are built around a common experience.
Getting involved in activities in which their children are involved is a great way to build a network. Single dads can introduce their children to their own personal interests and support their children’s growth and learning in these activities based on their own skill sets and abilities.
Coaching or volunteering in activities also provide opportunities to connect with other dads and like-minded individuals.
Attending events focused on children and engaging with other parents can be instrumental in connecting with others in meaningful ways.
There are of course more structured activities and supports (i.e. support groups, parenting classes, clubs, etc.) that bring together single fathers often provided by social-service agencies that can be excellent ways for fathers to engage with other like-minded individuals, as well.
What less familiar government incentives or social programs are available to single dads (or single parents in general) struggling financially?
Every state and local municipality varies in the extent to which programs are available to fathers. Unfortunately, father-focused programming is lacking across the board, although some communities are better than others.
I suggest reaching out to the professionals in the local organizations and searching websites to see what is available in each specific community. Families or fathers with lower incomes have more resources available to them, especially financially, and it would be valuable to reach out to your local health and human services departments to see what is available and what criteria are needed to participate in the programs.
How are societal pressures and expectations different for single dads vs. single moms?
Fortunately, the climate on this topic is shifting. Historically, single fathers were not as common as today, and the single parenting world was pretty well dominated by single moms.
As more fathers are taking active roles in their children’s lives independent of the involvement of their ex-partners, single-fathering has become less taboo. In some ways single fathers have been given more credit for their involvement with their children.
Mothers are often assumed to be actively involved with their kids and being a single parent is expected, whereas fathers who step up as single parents have been an exception rather than a rule.
Many single fathers report being approached with compliments and surprise at their engagement with their children, which, while helpful, can be off-putting to some fathers, suggesting that their involvement as a father is optional.
What are some meaningful ways that busy single dads can spend more time with their kids?
The key for busy single fathers to better engage with children is to structure their lives and activities around the needs and interests of their children.
If fatherhood is central to a man’s identity, they will be more likely to arrange their lives in ways that make sense to be a more engaged father, and sometimes that is very challenging and requires sacrifice. Sometimes this can mean taking a less active role in their careers and making active sacrifices to be present for their kids.
Maybe careers and jobs that require frequent travel, burdensome performance expectations, or have poor family policies are not the best fit for single fathers who want to be actively involved. This can be challenging for some careers and so other strategies may be more beneficial.
I suggested getting involved as coaches or volunteers for children’s activities in a previous question, which I think applies to this one, as well.
Participating in activities with children or setting up activities that are natural and organic to the needs of the family environment can be helpful. Letting kids participate in activities, such as home maintenance, car repairs, or lawn care, can be great ways to accomplish needed tasks, teach your children life skills, and build a strong relationship with them.
What are the best ways for single dads to find social and emotional support if they don’t have a strong network?
Single dads often have a lot of roles and responsibilities, and they can find it difficult to take care of themselves as much as they do for others. So, it’s a feat for some to just acknowledge that they need social and emotional support. That’s often the hardest step.
Once single dads are aware that they need more support than they currently have, consider if there are any friendships that could be strengthened by initiating doing things together or calling to talk.
There is a socialized barrier that many men feel that prevents men from expressing or acting on their desire for stronger and deeper friendships.
Men who are looking for social and emotional support can trust that there are many men who feel similarly, but who may be equally reluctant to reach out.
There are also some wonderful organizations around that are explicitly aimed at creating and strengthening friendships for men, including the Mankind Project and Everyman.
How are societal pressures and expectations different for single dads vs. single moms?
As I mentioned above, it is generally more natural for women (e.g., single moms) to reach out to a friend for support. But that is just societal conditioning.
Men and single dads need just as much support just as women and single moms, but dads are often more reluctant to share that they are overwhelmed or struggling.
What are some meaningful ways that busy single dads can spend more time with their kids?
Research that I’ve conducted with young children and their parents indicated that, by far, the two best ways to show love and affection toward children is through physical and verbal expressions of love (e.g., “I love you,” “It’s so fun spending time together”) and through playing together. Play is how children communicate, and there are endless ways of playing together with children.
Single dads can make driving together into a game (e.g., take turns making up sentences to a story), bath time into a game (e.g., time how long they can hold their breath underwater), and eating meals into enjoyable conversation (e.g., ask if they could have a superpower, what would it be).
With teenagers, asking simple questions and just listening to understand (rather than quickly giving advice or trying to help them feel better about something) helps them to feel comfortable sharing and coming to their parents. It’s much more about the quality of time rather than the quantity of time.
Methodology
First, we determined the factors (metrics) that are most relevant to rank the Best Cities for Single Dads to Live. We then assigned a weight to each factor based on its importance and grouped those factors into six categories: Affordability, Child Care, Health and Education, Home and Outdoors, Work-Life Balance, and Community Support. The categories, factors, and their weights are listed in the table below.
For each of the 200 biggest U.S. cities, we then gathered data on each factor from the sources listed below the table.
Finally, we calculated scores (out of 100 points) for each city to determine its rank in each factor, each category, and overall. A city’s Overall Score is the average of its scores across all factors and categories. The highest Overall Score ranked “Best” (No. 1) and the lowest “Worst” (No. 200). Note: The “Worst” among individual factors may not be No. 200 due to ties.
Sources: Care.com, Child Care Aware of America, County Health Rankings & Roadmaps, Feeding America, Healthgrades, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Meetup, National Center for Children in Poverty, National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse, NeighborhoodScout, Niche, other LawnStarter studies, Trust for Public Land, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Census Bureau, U.S. Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Walk Score, Workplace Fairness, and Yelp
Final Thoughts
Fatherhood is challenging — especially if you’re handling it on your own.
From putting in extra hours at work to prepping meals to taking the kids to dance or soccer practice, responsibilities can leave single dads stressed and worn out.
That’s why support in every possible form is important. Every bit of help — even clean air and a spacious yard where kids can run around and play while dad takes care of business — can make a huge difference.
Give dad a hand this Father’s Day by weeding or mowing his lawn. Or, hire a local LawnStarter pro to take care of it so you can spend some quality time together instead.
Media Resources
- High-resolution image of infographic
- High-resolution images of cities
- 2022’s Best Cities for Single Dads ranking results
Main Photo Credit: Shutterstock