Fans of “King of the Hill” know that Hank Hill takes immense pride in his lawn. His meticulously maintained yard isn’t just a backdrop for drinking beer and pondering the mysteries of life, it’s practically a character in itself in the original series and its revival on Hulu.
For fans of the show who want to achieve that same level of lawn perfection, we’ve created this comprehensive guide, from what kind of grass Hank has in his yard and his lawn care routine to overcoming catastrophes like droughts and Dale Gribble.
| “King of the Hill” What: The popular series, starring lawn-loving Hank Hill, is back after 15 years. Hank and Peggy Hill are now retired, and Bobby is 21 and working as a chef in Dallas. “King of the Hill” debuted in 1997 and ran until 2009. Where: Hulu (10 episodes). Watch the trailer here. When: Monday, Aug. 4 |
The Types of Grass Hank Uses
Hank Hill once proudly declared, “My lawn is my flag; it tells the world, here lives a competent, trustworthy salesman of propane and propane accessories.” This perfectly captures how his lawn isn’t just a patch of grass, but his identity.
For his Arlen, Texas, home, Hank opted for Raleigh St. Augustinegrass to replace his Bermuda. This wasn’t just some impulse buy at the Mega Lo Mart (where Hank would never shop for lawn supplies anyway). It was an impulse buy at the local nursery, but still a good choice.
And for special projects, like the “Rainey Street Country Club,” he goes with Kikuyu grass.
Choosing the best grass for your climate, use, and soil type is the first step to a lush, lovely lawn.
St. Augustine: Hank’s Primary Choice
St. Augustinegrass thrives in warm Southern states like Texas. Its thick, carpet-like texture and sturdy blades make it perfect for Hank’s style. It’s more suited for showing off than rough-and-tumble play, though.
Hank’s Ex: Bermuda
Peggy Hill once said, “Hank spends more time with that lawn than he does with his family. It’s like he has a second wife, and her name is Bermuda.”
Hank seems to have had Bermuda before St. Augustine. We know he took good care of it, but after Khan ridiculed some patchy spots, Hank made the switch.
Bermudagrass has its own advantages, especially here in Texas. It tolerates high heat and drought, has a fine texture and rich green color, and tolerates foot traffic well. Once established, it needs minimal water and is durable, making it ideal for hosting backyard barbecues.
Kikuyu: For Special Projects
Then there was the golf course incident. Fed up with the antics of the Nine Rivers Country Club, Hank and the alley crew – Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer – decided to create their own green using Kikuyu grass.
This hardy variety grows faster than Dale’s conspiracy theories and is tough. It’s perfect for those impromptu golf games, even when Bill inevitably trips and tears up chunks of turf.
Tools of the Trade: Hank’s Perfect Mower
Hank doesn’t trust his precious lawn to just any mower. His choice? A Mason 1500 riding mower. While the Mason brand is fictional, Hank’s mower resembles a standard riding mower from brands like John Deere or Craftsman.
I’m sure Hank cares for his mower like he does his beloved truck, about which he once proudly declared, “This truck has been through four presidents, three Cowboys Super Bowl victories, and zero mechanics.”
Fun Fact: The lawn mower racing featured in the show isn’t a fictional creation. It is a legitimate motorsport with organized leagues and national competitions across the United States. The U.S. Lawn Mower Racing Association (USLMRA) was established in 1992 and continues to hold lawn mower races today.
Hank Hill’s Lawn Care Routine
Hank’s lawn care isn’t just about mowing; it’s a comprehensive system that would make any HOA president weep with joy:
Mowing Schedule
As Hank says, “Mowing is a privilege,” so you know he has a solid routine.
- Weekly mowing: During peak growing season (late spring through summer for St. Augustinegrass), mowing once a week will keep your lawn under control.
- Seasonal upkeep: Transitional seasons like early spring and fall, when growth is slower, mow every 10 days to two weeks.
- One-third rule: Never cut more than one-third of the grass height in a single mow to prevent scalping or damaging your turf.
Beyond Mowing
A lawn worthy of Hank Hill requires more than just mowing. Here’s the complete care plan you’ll need to master for that perfect yard:
- Watering: Deep but infrequent watering, typically 1 to 1.5 inches per week, preferably in the morning before 10 a.m.
- Fertilizing: Seasonal applications with the appropriate N-P-K ratio in spring and fall.
- Aeration: Annual core aeration to reduce soil compaction.
- Dethatching: As needed to remove excess thatch buildup. There are a lot of benefits of dethatching your lawn, including preventing pests and better grass growth.
- Edging: Weekly, using a dedicated edger for that crisp, clean separation between lawn and walkways. Hank’s buddy, Dale Gribble, may use “edging” as his escape excuse after damaging Hank’s truck, but even he respects neat lawn borders.
- Weed control: Pre-emergent applications in early spring and fall, with spot treatments as needed. This will help you maintain the weed-free perfection that would make Hank nod in silent approval.
Overcoming Lawn Care Catastrophes
Even a lawn care master like Hank Hill encounters challenges. “Damn, I’ve poured my whole life into this lawn. My heart, my soul. The tender feelings I’ve held back from my family,” Hank once confessed when facing a lawn crisis.
Some of Hank’s most notable lawn disasters include:
The Fire Ant Invasion
In the “King of the Ant Hill” episode, Hank’s pristine lawn becomes infested with fire ants. Initially reluctant to use chemical solutions, Hank attempts natural remedies before finally resorting to professional-grade pest control.
As Dale, self-proclaimed exterminator extraordinaire, reassured him: “I only used as much poison as necessary and not a 55-gallon drum more.”
Lesson learned: Sometimes you need professional-grade products to deal with pest problems. As Hank discovered, trying to beat fire ants without the proper tools is like trying to grill a steak without propane. Technically possible, but why put yourself through that?
Dealing with Drought
In “Flush with Power,” Hank faces what might be every lawn aficionado’s worst nightmare: a severe drought. When water restrictions hit Arlen, Hank’s beloved lawn begins to wither while his neighbor Kahn’s yard remains suspiciously lush and green.
Hank’s drought survival techniques:
- Conserve first: Hank implemented strict household water rules.
- Innovate (desperate) solutions: Hank, at one point, resorted to using freezer shavings to hydrate small patches of grass.
- Stand up to corruption: Rather than cheating the system through bribes like his neighbor, Hank chose to fight for fair water policy through proper channels.
- Accept temporary damage: Though it breaks his heart, Hank chooses his principles over a perfect lawn.
The ‘Reality’ of Lawn Damage
When Hank’s cousin, Dusty Hill, digs up his lawn as a prank for a reality show, we don’t actually see Hank repair the lawn, but it’s back to pristine condition quickly. If your lawn comes under attack from a Dusty or some other unscrupulous vermin, channel your inner Hank Hill and focus on getting your grass back to its epic standard.
Here’s how he probably pulled it off:
- Remove damaged turf: Carefully clear away torn-up sections and debris to create a clean slate
- Prep the soil: Till the soil, level it, and add any necessary amendments for healthy growth.
- Install quality sod: Lay down sod that matches your existing lawn.
- Water properly: Apply light, frequent watering during the first two weeks to help roots establish.
Get a Lawn Like Hank’s with Professional Help
Hank doesn’t let just anybody touch his lawn, and you shouldn’t either. Even Bobby had to undergo thorough training and close supervision before saddling up.
If you want a Hank-level lawn but don’t have the confidence – or desire – to do it yourself, hiring a local lawn care pro is the way to go. Because, as Hank might say, “A well-maintained lawn isn’t just grass, it’s a way of life.”
Written by a Texas native who has spent far too many hours watching “King of the Hill” and nearly as many writing about lawn care.
Main Photo Credit: Illustration by Whitney Lehnecker / LawnStarter; King of the Hill on Fox; Adobe Stock
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